Surfing through different types of emotions in our lives, we often find ourselves overwhelmed by the heavy ones like loss, grief, pain, and anxiety and our survival instinct naturally tries to drive us away from them. One of the ways we cope is through suppression which essentially cages up our shadow side in a corner of our mind. On the surface, it feels as though we fought our demons and “overcame” them but in reality, we didn’t even muster up the courage to face them. Being ignorant while convincing yourself that you’re just looking at the brighter side is analogous to pretending to be quenched by just looking at a glass full of water.
Surface-level optimism won’t do. Your thirst and your pain only fester up over time. Thirst will manifest some physiological changes in your body and likewise, pain manifests behavioural changes. In simple terms, it drives you crazy when sh*t hits the fan. That might get you in even more trouble, making you explode like a volcano whenever an unknown trigger shows up.
So we understand why suppression is not the answer. Our first ray of light comes from admittance and validation.
You need to light the lamp of acknowledgment, clear evaluation, and wisdom to get past what is holding you back. Show your wounds some tender, loving care. Hold the hand of your petrified inner child and just allow it to be. Tell your sorrow that you are there for it, as its witness; as its observer. Look at it through eyes of compassion, and if, for some time, it wants to conquer your body and flow through your eyes, maybe allow that too.
Let it go naturally. Don’t judge. Just observe. Just allow. Crying alone is not a sign of weakness but a testament to our human nature. However, this does not mean that you allow it to grow on you. Acknowledgment alone is not liberation; it is the first step on the path to emotional mastery.
This is where emotional discipline steps in, which essentially is the art of maintaining equilibrium amidst the tempest of our feelings.
Your mind can be your greatest enemy. Negativity tends to ensue more negativity if you’re not vigilant enough. Letting emotions out does not mean you permit your clever mind to cherry-pick facts and weave story around them, that may or may not be true. It is unsurprisingly very easy to deceive ourselves.
The ultimate goal is freedom from bondage. Don’t let your intelligence turn against you. Allow but don’t lose control. Try not to chase every single thought for that will make you impulsive. Allow it to come and let it be released. Watch it happen ever so naturally. True liberation is not from emotions but through them. For a substantial transcendence to happen, we need to first embrace where we are and explore the full spectrum of our human emotions, but again, very delicately.