Have you ever found yourself thinking about why you act a certain way in a given situation or why you have certain triggers that evoke a strong emotional response that others may find unreasonable. Well, there is certainty that it may be a coping mechanism linked to your unhealed childhood trauma. Sometimes, it may be hard to look through and acknowledge it. Besides it may pose an extra challenge to recognising it when your consciousness is overlapped by your present unhealthy coping mechanisms which are a part of the vicious circle.
1. Avoidance: Seeking solitude in order to charge your mind for engaging in a task is a healthy pursuit. However, people who have experienced abandonment or emotional deprivation, especially by their primary caregivers, tend to escape from a situation frequently. Abandonment of emotional support in the formative years of a child gives rise to a deep-seated sense of unworthiness. As a child, in order to make sense of the emotional neglect, it inadvertently starts believing that it’s their fault that they are not considered worthy enough of love and support by their parents. This trauma can infiltrate into adulthood as a lack of sense of self-worth. As adults, these individuals exhibit avoidance behaviours as a way to protect themselves from potential pain that can directly act as a reminder of their childhood neglect.
2. Co-dependence: Children who were overprotected and had all their needs satiated in childhood, as adults, have a propensity to get involved in co-dependant relationships. When a child is provided with every single thing, he/she needs, they start believing that they cannot simply do anything by themselves. It can lead to an exaggerated sense of neediness towards their caregivers for everything they want. This accrues to an under-developed sense of self and a lack of self-assurance in their work. However, on the other hand of the spectrum, it can also lead to a fragile ego as they expect to get certain privileges.
3. Perfectionism: Children who were never rewarded and expected to outperform themselves every single time grow up to centre their lives around external validation. In order to cope up with the non-approval in their childhood, these individuals constantly seek recognition for their work. These individuals tend to prioritise their status, money and social image over inherent self-confidence.
4. Naive and immature behavioural patterns: It is not uncommon for individuals who experiences guilt, shame, humiliation in their childhood to be afraid of becoming an adult. Childhood trauma can keep people stuck in their childhood as they continue to act childish in several situations. This ensues from a belief that they are not capable enough of taking big decisions of their adulthood lives or managing adulthood stresses. This can include excessively using baby voice to talk, throwing temper tantrums, or using toys or stuffed animals.
5. Emotional eating: When life goes south, some individuals turn to eating unnecessarily in order to cope with the negative self-beliefs that they developed in their childhood. This results from a lack of education provided to children on how to regulate their emotions in a healthy manner.
6. Not seeking professional help: Individuals who had gone through physical or mental abuse may fear further harm if they disclose their experiences to others. Victims of abuse may internalize feelings of shame, guilt, believing that they somehow deserved the abuse or that it was their fault. Further, it can undermine trust in others and in the effectiveness of seeking help
What is coping mechanism?
Coping mechanisms are actually psychological defence strategies that one develops to manage stressful situations. They can include both adaptive strategies, which promote healthy adjustment, and dysfunctional strategies but can ultimately be harmful in the long term. It can be even more difficult when you have to battle against your own coping mechanisms. However, it is extremely imperative to recognise how certain coping mechanisms may be linked to your childhood trauma and hold you back from living out your true potential. The impact of childhood trauma can be long-lasting but it is not impossible to try and rise above the negative behaviours it develops. Acknowledging your needs is truly a sign of metacognition and a good mental health.