Is he/she worth waiting for, does she/he feeling the sameway I do? Am I kidding myself thinking long-distance can work? What if theyfind someone else? These questions and more are likely to haunt people in along-distance relationship. Moreover, Skype calls and blinking chat windowscan't replace physical presence. But this can be dealt with, wisely.
Long distance relationships are not a new concept inIndia. Increased globalisation and rapid development across the country, hasincreased its prevalence, and has made it important to sustain suchrelationships as every couple at some point of time will have to face distance.With increased education, cultural maturity and the permeation of digitaltechnologies in our lives, the value and significance of protectingrelationships has grown.
A 2018 survey on long-distance couples found that while27 per cent had never lived near each other, about 50 per cent of couples inthe survey had met each other online.
We speak to an expert, Hirak Patel, CounsellingPsychologist, Fortis Hospital, Mulund, who shares a few coping mechanisms thatcouples follow to nurture a long-distance relationship:
MUTUALACCEPTANCE
Acceptance that in this phase, the person is not going tobe around you physically. Accept the reason behind getting into this phase, thevariable reasons could be due to a job switch, financial needs, familycircumstances or any other. Acceptance helps the couple sail through the phasesmoothly and keep the lamp of hope burning.
COMMUNICATIONIS KEY
Communication is a key aspect when people are in along-distance relationship. Truthful communication and giving enough space isimportant. One needs to understand that there is some leeway that needs to begiven. Communicate because you feel like it and do not force yourself into it.Sharing things about each other's day can help in maintaining a crucialconnection even from afar.
BEBALANCED
Make sure your dependence and independence arewell-balanced. Ensure your partner knows how much you need him/her, but don'tcling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.
USINGTECHNOLOGY IN DIFFERENT WAYS
Video call, writing an E-mail, surprising throughletters, online gifting to maintain excitement in the relationship is good wayto stay connected and express love.
ENCOURAGELISTENING
Show immediate appreciation when he/she listens to youproperly and show interest when they are talking. You need to stay connected bysharing.
DOINGACTIVITIES TOGETHER
There is a need to explore and experience things togetherwhen people are in a relationship, but in a long distance relationship, itbecomes difficult. However, doing some activities together like watching amovie at the same time, virtually cooking together, or exploring one's dayvirtually could help the couple sail through. Also, make time for a holidaytogether as well.
MAINTAINING TRUST
Trust the foundation of all strong relationships. Even ifthere is a physical distance, attachment and emotional connection can besustained effectively. Trusting the partner becomes an important aspect for arelationship to sustain and thrive in distance. Giving the virtual and personalspace to each other, respecting, and accepting the changes and avoid linkingall issues and concerns to physical distance is important.
Distance prevents intimacy from taking significance in arelationship. When two people are apart, it is too easy to idealise andromanticise each other. It is a good feeling though but sometimes it can bedelusional. It's too easy to overlook the mundane, yet important differencesand get caught up in the drama of our minds instead of the boring truths of ourhearts.
Taking initiative to understand these aspects is crucialin a relationship. Relationships can be complicated and difficult but ifhandled wisely it can go a long way to sustain a healthy and happy life.